Packing.. requires me to have finished unpacking from the move last summer first. So I found a notebook from then. So I wrote out all of it which wasn't numbers or facts or pictures. It was almost all pictures. Music for today: 65 Days of Static.
'you deserve to melt like a slush puppy'
Ray Lamontagne
'The fewer the substantive differences between the two parties, the more bitter their mutual hatred'
'we are born subject... one mark of this subjection is the certificate of birth... either you are given... the certificate of state, thereby acquiring an identity which during the course of your life enables the state to identify you and track you (track you down); or you do without identity and condemn yourself to living outside the state like an animal (animals do not have identity papers)'
it doesn't make any sense to view your spiritual life as separate from the physical world
what do you hate most?
'I hope this don't sound too ungrateful, but history gave modern man telephones to talk to strangers, machine guns and a camera lens'
Now this is something new - you insist in believing I am here - in this body - of pleasure - pain radiating through its core - why? - I am not there - I am numb.
'why candles'
images of words I like - feverish - ghastly - writhing - perpetually - SNUGGERY
Neitzche
The person you want to think you are. I do doubt. Whether. That person is real. And I dislike the nest of maggots his artificiality covers. What lies beneath.
I believe in you - yes i can believe in you - although I stand here in the cold night - watching a lamp above me flicker - and ice form on the windshields - and wait in the rain - I check my watch - despite murmured assurances your jokes - stay with me like - mixed with your deep clear thoughts - the music of what you call your soul - I can believe that you meant to be here when you said that you would be - but I doubt that the person you want me to think you are exists.
Rain - falling from the sky . But somehow different, as i stand in this smudge of lamplight and they appear, and I wait. Has anyone else noticed that rain drops fall at different speeds? Some softly, like snow, others fast, bullets streaming from above scoring a direct hit to my left eye. In the lamplight they look like sparks. Tiny burning fragments streaming from the sky.
'I don't think you are ever 100% in the room'
About Me
- Florence
- I tend to fall in love with ideas. And also get really excited about music and be like WOW YUM and then realise that that is an utterly and hopelessly inappropriate reaction. Some people can fragment my mind and others affirm my notion of living on a different plain from others. And from my body too. Then they ask me if I mean out of body experiences and I realise I have just said everything I thought out loud. I give a guffaw and explain how I’m actually thinking about falling off horses called Lemon whilst panicking over the concept of coexisting with a creature which is so much bigger than me but which I cannot understand, and they do these shifty eyes and bat their mascara laden lashes and run screaming. Unless (love me!) they are those rare amazing easter egg type people who instead do some sort of strange abrupt motion and insist they know exactly what I mean. At which point I begin to presume that everyone is in fact a perception and it’s just the way they impact upon me that I notice. Have you ever looked at something and realised that it looks 2D? I think I need to get glasses.
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