sex and sensibility
do you believe in ants?
Oliver twisted me
Charlotte's wet
i have great expectations
I <3 (porn) literature
GO TEAM TEAM
Hello traveller
Shakespeare is sex
I <3 (c)lit soc
Shakespeare turns me on *growl*
grope me
rape me i'm a librarian
virginia wolfed me
e e cummings is my jesus
a tale of... (... two fitties)
without books my life would be empty
captain hook(er)
I <3 DICK(ens)
wanna meet after hours?
i <3 boob(k)s
all this on a white t shirt, the outfit made COMPLETE by the spandex legs. Literary society graffiti pub crawl. Just broke my plugs extension cord or whatever, so I only have one plug, which my fridge needs. I'm not entirely sure but I think the fact I keep unplugging it is bad for my food and things. I'll probably get cancer off it, or something.
University is exhilarating. I love most of my flat mates, find it hard to exist, here, without them. Dancing tonight was crazy old and pretty awful style but the funniest and lightest so far - every other night it's been intense clubbing come and get me moves and then tonight making fun of them all was amazing. My room's a mahusive tip, because I still (5, 6 days in) haven't had a single moment in which to tidy it. I'm going to die when lectures start because I'm pretty certain I'm already behind, having done a very very small amount of the reading. The rooms here have no carpets (this shocks every other accommodation people, because that seems like a basic thing) and we share one loo, one shower and two baths between about 14 of us, which is not exactly ideal, especially with my weird obsessions with not letting anyone near me when I'm in a bathroom. I love one of my flat mates in particular and was actually really upset that we've spent a night not together in the clubbing, even though variety is good and it might be a good thing to get rid of the impression that we're fuck buddies that everyone seems to have got - he may have pictures of me in my bra as his desktop background but he also has a girlfriend. Not to mention him being witness to my many less than virtuous moments. University is almost exactly how I'd expected it to be - grungy, drunken, hilarious, sexyful, full of terror at being behind academically, allowing me to be independent when I need to be, full of really individual people, confusing, big...
... but then it also has this strange dreamlike quality, as if it's not permanent, as if nothing matters, as if I'll wake up any minute now. That's probably due to being continually drunk or hungover.
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Friday, 24 September 2010
ALICE
that's the plan, see. do what you want. empower yourself :D this is what uni is about, empowerment. we should write this all over our walls in some sort of schizophrenic attack. we can say that we thought we were Napoleon and Nelson was forcing us to scribble on the walls. or something.
POST IT NOTES FTW!
in response to statements concerning time
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a small copper coin weighing one tolah, eight mashas and seven surkhs, being the fortieth part of a rupee!
Make that a statement of my general existance, right now.
POST IT NOTES FTW!
in response to statements concerning time
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a small copper coin weighing one tolah, eight mashas and seven surkhs, being the fortieth part of a rupee!
Make that a statement of my general existance, right now.
Thursday, 23 September 2010
in defence of bad english
Him
hui.. how is it going?
22:14Me
Hi!
hurrah!
it's good. you?
22:14Him
it s very good.
22:14Me
haha where are you now?
Him
but i just decided ,that i am hungry
22:15Me
aha you should probably eat then
22:15Him
i have to
still staying at vanice beach.. near sta monica
everything seems like crap in la
22:17Me
yeppp
thats why i've never been
22:17Him
and they have no rain to wash all the dirt away from the streets
22:17Me
apparently they get 130 days of sunshine there
it was raining here today. massive storm. thunder and lightning and everything.
22:18Him
i didn t know
but im glad..had a surf lesson this morning (=
that was fun!!
22:18Me
yay you any good at surfing?
22:19Him
I am very talented (=
22:19Me
of course haha
22:19Him
no.. was the first time in my life.. no big expactations..
but sometimes i could stand on the board...
i love it!!!
=)
22:20Me
aha i can never stand on it. i always fall off
i just swim instead =]
22:21Him
maybe it was good, that I stood a few times on my brothers snowboard (=
22:21Me
ahh yeah. that would probably help..
i dont believe you're still in america... so jealous
22:22Him
rightly!
22:23Me
aha
so whats jack like?
22:23Him
he is kind of Matt and Matt (=
Fun to travel with them...
22:24Me
ahaha >.< you all drunk the whole time?
22:25Him
hmm.. probably sometimes (=
but i think all of them have a different
hmm..
22:26Me
nice... a different?
22:26Him
wait for it
i dont know how to say
.. they think different about girls..
22:27Me
yeah ahaha i know
22:28Him
... have I already mentioned that i m hungry =)
have to go!
c u online
22:29Me
yeppp. haha okay have fun. seek happy nights to happy days.
22:29Him
seek happy nights to happy days?
22:29Me
shakespeare
22:29Him
means?
22:29Me
it's a quote from shakespeare. means, go be happy.
22:30Him
ah.. i gonna use that in future (=
bye
22:30Me
aha k. be careful who you say it to though. byee
The problem with me is that I care. I ask. People either don't notice or get annoyed by it. I reckon it actually means, go, fuck romeo and have fun. Isn't it marvelous when you can't remember things? When you can rant and rage and your eyes are glistening and you're glad you can hate?
hui.. how is it going?
22:14Me
Hi!
hurrah!
it's good. you?
22:14Him
it s very good.
22:14Me
haha where are you now?
Him
but i just decided ,that i am hungry
22:15Me
aha you should probably eat then
22:15Him
i have to
still staying at vanice beach.. near sta monica
everything seems like crap in la
22:17Me
yeppp
thats why i've never been
22:17Him
and they have no rain to wash all the dirt away from the streets
22:17Me
apparently they get 130 days of sunshine there
it was raining here today. massive storm. thunder and lightning and everything.
22:18Him
i didn t know
but im glad..had a surf lesson this morning (=
that was fun!!
22:18Me
yay you any good at surfing?
22:19Him
I am very talented (=
22:19Me
of course haha
22:19Him
no.. was the first time in my life.. no big expactations..
but sometimes i could stand on the board...
i love it!!!
=)
22:20Me
aha i can never stand on it. i always fall off
i just swim instead =]
22:21Him
maybe it was good, that I stood a few times on my brothers snowboard (=
22:21Me
ahh yeah. that would probably help..
i dont believe you're still in america... so jealous
22:22Him
rightly!
22:23Me
aha
so whats jack like?
22:23Him
he is kind of Matt and Matt (=
Fun to travel with them...
22:24Me
ahaha >.< you all drunk the whole time?
22:25Him
hmm.. probably sometimes (=
but i think all of them have a different
hmm..
22:26Me
nice... a different?
22:26Him
wait for it
i dont know how to say
.. they think different about girls..
22:27Me
yeah ahaha i know
22:28Him
... have I already mentioned that i m hungry =)
have to go!
c u online
22:29Me
yeppp. haha okay have fun. seek happy nights to happy days.
22:29Him
seek happy nights to happy days?
22:29Me
shakespeare
22:29Him
means?
22:29Me
it's a quote from shakespeare. means, go be happy.
22:30Him
ah.. i gonna use that in future (=
bye
22:30Me
aha k. be careful who you say it to though. byee
The problem with me is that I care. I ask. People either don't notice or get annoyed by it. I reckon it actually means, go, fuck romeo and have fun. Isn't it marvelous when you can't remember things? When you can rant and rage and your eyes are glistening and you're glad you can hate?
heard geese fly over at about 3am
I never knew geese flew around during the night.
'the dense, brilliant mass of blue night... I covered my face so I couldn't see the excessive, incomprehensible beauty of the night'
You cannot walk with the holy if you’re only after peace of mind.
Just found my 'personal child health record'. In the year of my birth, September was when I got my BCG, I was somewhere between August's measurements of 17lb, 8oz, (with lots of question marks), and October's, which are 8.50kg and a length of 71.5cm. I was just climbing above the 50th percentile for weight, I think.
Don't believe I'm 18.
My mom's accidently locked the radio, on full volume, in the cupboard I just painted. The paint won't dry for another 16 hours, so we have strange voices in the house until then.
Music for today. The Beatles - I'm looking through you. I was humming it whilst I painted the surgically white cupboards. It's the colour my mother thinks she wants.
If you were a fly trapped in paint, would you suffer?
It asked how many cigarettes I smoke per day. It asked how many units I drink each week. I lied for both of them.
It asked if I'd ever had a serious operation and I wanted to put about when I had cancer and them chopping a chunk out of my arm, but that doesn't count as serious, because it was benign. In fact, it wouldn't count as serious anyway, operation-wise.
'the dense, brilliant mass of blue night... I covered my face so I couldn't see the excessive, incomprehensible beauty of the night'
You cannot walk with the holy if you’re only after peace of mind.
Just found my 'personal child health record'. In the year of my birth, September was when I got my BCG, I was somewhere between August's measurements of 17lb, 8oz, (with lots of question marks), and October's, which are 8.50kg and a length of 71.5cm. I was just climbing above the 50th percentile for weight, I think.
Don't believe I'm 18.
My mom's accidently locked the radio, on full volume, in the cupboard I just painted. The paint won't dry for another 16 hours, so we have strange voices in the house until then.
Music for today. The Beatles - I'm looking through you. I was humming it whilst I painted the surgically white cupboards. It's the colour my mother thinks she wants.
If you were a fly trapped in paint, would you suffer?
It asked how many cigarettes I smoke per day. It asked how many units I drink each week. I lied for both of them.
It asked if I'd ever had a serious operation and I wanted to put about when I had cancer and them chopping a chunk out of my arm, but that doesn't count as serious, because it was benign. In fact, it wouldn't count as serious anyway, operation-wise.
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
worthiness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ukJiBZ8_4k&feature=related
only now do I fully understand my objections to objectivism, and at the same time, I now see the points I agree with in it. Freedom, huh. Destroying our edifices, please, go ahead. Challenge the concept of altruism, of course, I've never gone for the moral servitude, clearly. I hadn't even noticed that I could be responsible for others' happiness. I've never noticed anyone loving anyone above themself, thank god. I've not been overly conscious of a capacity for thinking in that way in myself, though. 'You love them for their values, their virtues'. Well, fuck, we're all screwed, the presenter's only good point. And if you think like that, if you have to expect yourself, and others to be perfect, then you'll end up dead. Which of us is deserving of anything? I hate that thought. It's easier to think, well, we're all the great unwashed, get over it. It's easier to think, maybe we fell down, maybe we're dirty, but wasn't it fun? It's easier to think, I can't expect myself to live up to all this, I'm not made for perfection, we're all just here for corruption. It's easier to try to get what you can out of life. It's easier to say, fuck it. The concept of perfection is materialistic anyway, the idea that one needs to be worthy doesn't tally with the idea of living for oneself. For me, it doesn't add up quite right, because there's still these ideals which might as well be gods.
Music for today - the whole of the album Boxer by The National.
only now do I fully understand my objections to objectivism, and at the same time, I now see the points I agree with in it. Freedom, huh. Destroying our edifices, please, go ahead. Challenge the concept of altruism, of course, I've never gone for the moral servitude, clearly. I hadn't even noticed that I could be responsible for others' happiness. I've never noticed anyone loving anyone above themself, thank god. I've not been overly conscious of a capacity for thinking in that way in myself, though. 'You love them for their values, their virtues'. Well, fuck, we're all screwed, the presenter's only good point. And if you think like that, if you have to expect yourself, and others to be perfect, then you'll end up dead. Which of us is deserving of anything? I hate that thought. It's easier to think, well, we're all the great unwashed, get over it. It's easier to think, maybe we fell down, maybe we're dirty, but wasn't it fun? It's easier to think, I can't expect myself to live up to all this, I'm not made for perfection, we're all just here for corruption. It's easier to try to get what you can out of life. It's easier to say, fuck it. The concept of perfection is materialistic anyway, the idea that one needs to be worthy doesn't tally with the idea of living for oneself. For me, it doesn't add up quite right, because there's still these ideals which might as well be gods.
Music for today - the whole of the album Boxer by The National.
Chocolate
In my dreams everyone's altered. Anything from voice to hair colour to gender. People's eyes become all important, take up the entire picture, pulsate, embrace, take. I walk along a beach and watch the sky splash against my hair. I find myself naked in my old school, casually pouring jugs of multicoloured liquids onto my jabbering teachers. Other times, we're sniffing tictacs and eating flowers. I find myself sitting under mushrooms as various friends inform me in unison of the life-changing news which will and shall be said as soon as I do something... The light is often dark, and the concept of truth does not exist.
My mother just came in and gave me a chocolate from See's Candies, which ought to have been a candy from Willie Wonka's. It was white chocolate on the outside, which is why I had never tried it before. However, once in the mouth, you could taste the pastry, the cooked apples, the cinnamon, the exact replica of the perfect bite of apple pie, probably one made with granny smith's. I always knew they were magical.
My mother, by the way, hit her head really hard and now has memory problems and her vertebrae hurt. She can't be bothered to go see a doctor. She took me out to lunch and I had something called 'fillet de loup' which was sea bass and was amazing. She had a salad with tuna on it and ended up eating mine.
Last night I made a tomato soup. I roasted tomatoes (1kg cherry tomatoes, red and yellow, idealy the ones you buy on the vine, and when you pull them off you can leave the little green hats on them) and a chille in an oven pan with olive oil and seasoning for about 12 to 15 minutes, during which I put 2 roughly chopped red onions in a pan with olive oil, which I also added 4 tbs of balsamic vinigar to. Then we put the cooked tomatoes into the sauce pan, threw the whole thing into a blender with a load of basil, at which point I realised I'd forgotten to put the four crushed garlic cloves into the original roasting pan, so I put some garlic paste into the mixure as well, and then da da bung some sort of cream stuff on the top and all is well.
Vivi was proud of me. The measurements on here are so that I can do it again after I've lost the recipe. It reminded me of tomato juice and pumkins seeds, not in taste, but in concept.
My grand shopping excursion with ma mere ended up with me buying a watch, tissues, duvet cover and toothpaste. Apparently I don't actually need anything for university.
Newbury's funny. If I notice someone I almost definitely will see them again 10 minutes later. A woman with long auburn hair driving a bright green van covered in flowers. A french woman with huge dark eyes. A man who looked just like Clement Freud paying his bill next to a half finished meal, and then appearing in Sainsbury's with a bottle of wine.
I quite like it here, choosing pictures and curtain rails for the new rooms, the victorian terraces at the other end of town which look exactly like the houses in Skins, Donnington Castle which seems to have a strange night life and always has great views, people who randomly yell compliments meant as insults at me and there's enough bikes to make it feel like it's going somewhere. I'm even getting used to being alone all the time, to not having to get anywhere by any time, to having to be creative in my attempts to alleviate the dullness. Maybe it's going to be okay.
My mother just came in and gave me a chocolate from See's Candies, which ought to have been a candy from Willie Wonka's. It was white chocolate on the outside, which is why I had never tried it before. However, once in the mouth, you could taste the pastry, the cooked apples, the cinnamon, the exact replica of the perfect bite of apple pie, probably one made with granny smith's. I always knew they were magical.
My mother, by the way, hit her head really hard and now has memory problems and her vertebrae hurt. She can't be bothered to go see a doctor. She took me out to lunch and I had something called 'fillet de loup' which was sea bass and was amazing. She had a salad with tuna on it and ended up eating mine.
Last night I made a tomato soup. I roasted tomatoes (1kg cherry tomatoes, red and yellow, idealy the ones you buy on the vine, and when you pull them off you can leave the little green hats on them) and a chille in an oven pan with olive oil and seasoning for about 12 to 15 minutes, during which I put 2 roughly chopped red onions in a pan with olive oil, which I also added 4 tbs of balsamic vinigar to. Then we put the cooked tomatoes into the sauce pan, threw the whole thing into a blender with a load of basil, at which point I realised I'd forgotten to put the four crushed garlic cloves into the original roasting pan, so I put some garlic paste into the mixure as well, and then da da bung some sort of cream stuff on the top and all is well.
Vivi was proud of me. The measurements on here are so that I can do it again after I've lost the recipe. It reminded me of tomato juice and pumkins seeds, not in taste, but in concept.
My grand shopping excursion with ma mere ended up with me buying a watch, tissues, duvet cover and toothpaste. Apparently I don't actually need anything for university.
Newbury's funny. If I notice someone I almost definitely will see them again 10 minutes later. A woman with long auburn hair driving a bright green van covered in flowers. A french woman with huge dark eyes. A man who looked just like Clement Freud paying his bill next to a half finished meal, and then appearing in Sainsbury's with a bottle of wine.
I quite like it here, choosing pictures and curtain rails for the new rooms, the victorian terraces at the other end of town which look exactly like the houses in Skins, Donnington Castle which seems to have a strange night life and always has great views, people who randomly yell compliments meant as insults at me and there's enough bikes to make it feel like it's going somewhere. I'm even getting used to being alone all the time, to not having to get anywhere by any time, to having to be creative in my attempts to alleviate the dullness. Maybe it's going to be okay.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
