fight fight fight

have you noticed when you tear a cookie in two, if it's a good one it makes a soft damp noise?

i'm a feminist. i'm an emancipated woman. if i give reasons like 'i can do whatever i want, i'm using them, not the other way around' then that's totally okay, as long as i occasionally kiss someone of the same sex in order to perpetuate queer theory. no? i need to research exactly how i want my feminist argument for my existance to go.

will's gone and i didn't see him for like 3 days before he left and i miss his humour and i miss him being there for me, and i miss waking up to see him outside my door, and i miss watching ridiculous programs with him, and i miss his shoulders and i miss his smile. i miss other people thinking there's something going on between us.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/oct/16/easy-a-is-so-intellectual adaptations of some interesting novels. great. what i always wanted, really.

i am worried that blethyn is coming back because although he's brilliant and makes me laugh and laugh and laugh and fall over giggling he also is my witness. and i ruined his night. squeak squeak squeak.

i think i go for people i think will be interesting. music, words, ideas. i haven't once thought, o, he's hot, let's get with him. this distresses me. particularly when i look back at every single guy i've ever liked and discover it's always been that way. always.

i people watch by kissing.

they brought me drinks and drinks and i kissed him for being late and we fed the birds bread and bread and bread and they'd blow up if we gave them bicarbonate of soda and they were flying right at my face like they'd tear the bread from my hand and i screamed and felt silly. it was like seeing the australians (m&m) again, and i felt guilty and nervous and amused. why does anyone bother with me. gross gross gross i don't really want to ... o we did?

i enjoyed kissing jess more than most of the guys i've kissed recently. (sorry if jack still reads this i probably ought not to mention these things but there we go)

i've been drunk for the last 24 hours.

tomski tomek tomski tomek.

how to scour sick from my sink with only tissues and my hands?

change the sheets!

'let me in!' 'you're a dick' 'this is making me laugh so much' 'go get your duvet you little gimp' 'come with me' 'okay' 'eva unlock the door' 'no!' 'you alright man?' 'they locked me out' 'eva?' 'where's he gone?' 'i'll change it' 'hahahaha'

o, the deep and meaningful conversations leaking under my door from the hallway.