am i asking too much?

Infuriation seems to be something I can't feel properly any more. If I get angry with someone, the anger just becomes me being angry with me.

ANI DIFRANCO:
'generally my generation wouldn't be caught dead working for The Man, and generally I agree with them... the trouble is you've got to have yourself an alternate plan.'

I'm in such a strange place right now. I haven't written properly for a while. It's like I've been denying a part of myself. Last night, having had epic discussion times with Alice and Maya, all I wanted to do was go write pages and pages of creations which could have nothing to do with me at all. I can feel this build up of need to create. I hope it’s not something I’ll lose, I need to be able to write after exams are over with. I wonder whether how I interact with people changes with how much I write. Who will you like better, the me who is writing writing writing down the screaming existence’s ideas of the world which is all I have to examine or the me who is inundated with the thoughts which fit through hoops?

Are my thoughts mine as an individuals or mine as an age of humanity?

All I am is an empirically provable existence in which all humanity meets. Same as you.



We let the tadpoles out today. That’s earlier than usual, if you’re wondering. We usually wait until they turn into mini frogs. But then they sometimes get a bit scary in that you’re not sure if they’re going to jump out onto you. The water in the pond was writhing with their little black bodies and I reassured my sister that we’d probably given them a selective advantage over the others due to their superior food (we gave them fish flakes and boiled lettuce. No tadpoles have ever been this loved. Due to the fact that we can’t afford real pets). But I’m not sure about this. Maybe our tadpoles won’t have such good foraging abilities because they haven’t had to develop them! Maybe our tadpoles will not bother to madly search for food because they’ll assume it’ll be delivered to them like take out pizza!