see the exact colour of my blood

treasure hunt party. Cake: treasure chest. Made of: chocolate cake and icing and sweets and digestives all crumbled up to look like sand. Treasure hunt: taking 15 small and sugar-filled kids on a trek around school. The clues are hilariously complicated.

I'm being haunted by the name Dalrymple. Possibly because it's one of the few names I can remember for any amount of time.

Last night: terror and amusement. Walking down a road in the dark getting accosted by professionals. My umpa bumpa jumpa is all full of holes.

Battling with ideas again.

I’m assuming that no one is referring to me unless my names mentioned. Because why would anyone want to talk about me?

I wish my phones would work properly. But now they really don't.

1. Lots of questions about you.
2. Why do I care what anyone thinks?
3. If I don’t care, why am I here?
4. I’m going to cut this out.
5. Maybe somebody’s right
6. I’min the wrong
7. I’m not going to lie.
8. I don’t know that it would matter if I did
9. I won’t be dependent.
10. I need to stop dramatising things
11. I need to prioritise (bit late now. I’m screwed for exams. But we’ve heard enough of that.)
12. I need to organise myself (I always do.)
13. I do care.
14. Do I wish I didn’t?
15. I don’t know very much
16. I need to get better at recognising when I’ve been proven wrong in an argument.
17. I wonder why I don’t have so many personality crisis-es any more
18. I need to concentrate
19. It makes me laugh how frustrated other people get when they explore themselves. They say, ‘hey, you’ve made me sound like a sap now’. All I did was channel your thoughts. What they’ve landed on is your business. And anyway I’m not sure if I did anything anyway. I’m always vaguely surprised when I’m accused of helping people in their journey towards self knowledge.
20. If you don’t like who you are, or what you’ve found yourself thinking about who you are, change it. You can be who your actions make you. Don’t ignore it.
21. Speaking of ignoring, I’ve got all of that history out in the open and now it’s sitting there like a black lump and I’m going to have to work out if I need to do anything about it. Which I don’t.
22. I don’t like how much I like you. *

*Yes I’m using the typical switching ‘you’ thing. It’s a pretty amusing technique. Today, I’m miserable and slightly angry at myself. So don’t even start.