turns out

that i do want to know about his decisions
and i do want to know everything
and i don't care about the impossible
and sometimes doing stuff which in itself ought to be made pointless by the very freedom it indicates, because it's conscious of that freedom and so is by its awareness making it obselete - YEAH doing that, sometimes, makes sense anyway. even through the cliched kisses. i'm still lost in your eyes, not looking away. teeth have stopeed chattering.

WHAT

I want to know the crazy lines
echoes of horizon
glowing through the differentiates
colours freaking out in hedgehog dances
don't tell me
make me know
you didn't have second thoughts about cigaretttes
ettes
etes
etty
et
et al

lost lost lost lost
forgotten remembered dreams
geography padding through my unconscious
geology underlying all movements

swimming in the sea was amazing. remind me to simply strip and jump in - it works. I'm glad I thought to take off my dress first though
even if my bra decided that it had sponge like qualities and could hold vast amounts of water
even if I left you in there
even if I left the tenner in the bottle in there
even if when swimming I became conscious that my arm's curved echo of the sun, brown against the sky and the pinks and the blues and the sea and the seaweed, all of it, even ifI was aware of that
it doesn't matter
because I cared more about being in there, and ducking under the waves, and floating like driftwood, or like cupped leaves of thoughts on the surface
I cared about that more
so it was fine
and even if the only fire I have comes out of a green lighter
thank god it's yellow fire, eh?
yellow. we all know that symbolism. entwine that with life, dammit.
leather or denim?
i wonder why it is i don't want to become something new, i just do it
tomorrow, i'll make sock puppets