Restcure

I think I am well because I am determined to be well, and also I am definitely much better. However, I drank properly for the first time in a while last night, but I stayed in halls and still got about nine hours sleep so I think it's okay.

I am worried about Ethan. Because he almost definitely will never break down people push him too hard. He always has interesting thoughts and is a good listener, once you get used to how awkward he is he's good to have as someone you can not bother to man up with. He's sympathetic, and it's cute how much he misses his brothers - he's the oldest of four, I'm the second oldest of four, we can talk about siblings. He thinks that the problem is that people don't have enough respect for him, which is true. I'd say he brings it on himself, but he says that he 'doesn't mean to say stupid things'... If a girl said the level of things he says, people would think they were cute, innocent and ditzy. People take out their bad feelings on him, they don't think about how what they're doing will hurt him. If we were in school I'd say he was being bullied but here it's hard to think of that word - I think of it as his friends being mean to him...

Last night I broke one of my tea cups, so now I only have three left... But it was nice to have people be like 'O wow the tea cup of whisky! That's one of my first memories of you, sitting in your corridor with your back against your door which kept opening so you fell over, drinking whisky from a tea cup!' Apparently it's 'hardcore'.

I talked to Calumn (who I called Connor, I guess he reminds me of Oberst...) about J Tillman again, and once again was glad Liz Jackson recommended him to me in the days of yore... I rather like the fact that Calumn won't talk to me unless he's drunk something. Or rather, I feel like whenever I talk to him I'm drunk, but if I see him when I'm sober he just kind of smiles. So I presume it's him not me, but who knows maybe I launch myself at him when I'm drunk.

I cannot wait for tonight.

Haven't texted EG at all. I count this as a good thing, it takes restraint and everything... and I have hardly thought about him or Adam at all. Bad influences.