wishful thinking

Talked to Scott about sexuality. Told him stuff I never told anyone. Feel strange. Not sure if he understood. I'm pretty sure I need to go to Vassar, I don't want to let myself hope that it'll help with self-discovery stuffs, but it might help confirm suspicions. Scott said that the problem with not being straight is that he finds that if a guy knows, he assumes Scott wants to be in his pants. Damn social norms. Damn judgement. Damn expectations.

It was snowing last night, the boys kept coming in and telling me, so that exploded my early night theory, so I watched Transamerica, which is a movie about a transsexual woman finding the (ridiculously attractive) boy she fathered. Who happens to be a bit of a prostitute/ petty thief/ druggie, in New York. Lots of driving across America. Lots of interesting moments, challenges of preconceptions. Then the boys came in during one of the boy being a prostitute with an older man scenes, and it was all a bit awkward.

Going home tomorrow!

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on.